There was one family of terengganu people nak balik raye and they were stuffed into one kancil. Seven of the family members all together. So the mum said,
Mum : Guane nih..penuh kete. Dok muak ayoh mu wey!
Dad : Betul jugok. Guane nok buak nih? Lamo dok sapa kampong.
Mum : Tujuh oghang dokleh sumbak masuk kete kancil nih. kecik do'oh.
And then they were thinking and thinking of the solution to their problem and how to make some space in the car. Suddenly their youngest son shouted...
Son : Abah, umi... Awang tau doh guane nok buak. Kite skarang ade tujuh oghang. Tamboh la soghang lagi. Baru jadik 'LAPANG'...!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kenapa masa perlawanan bolasepak adalah 45 minit, dan bukannya 30 minit ataupun 1 jam (utk separuh masa)?
Saintis sukan dan pemain-pemain veteran juga tidak dapat memberikan jawapan yang tepat.
Di dalam kemusykilan tersebut, ada seseorang yang memberikan jawapan yang boleh diterima.
Dia menjawab...."Sebab mengapa bolasepak dimainkan dalam 45 minit ialah...Terdapat 2 pasukan di dalam setiap perlawanan dan ada 11 orang pemain di setiap pasukan. Setiap pemain mempunyai "2 biji bola" dan membawanya setiap masa semasa bermain didalam padang. Jadi, jumlah kesemua bola untuk kedua-dua pasukan ialah 44 biji bola. Terdapat sebiji bolasepak yang digunakan di dalam perlawanan. Oleh itu,jumlah keseluruhan ialah 45 minit.
Persoalan terjawab !!!
Tetapi, kadang-kadang ada masa tambahan selama 2 minit...itu adalah "bola referee"!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alkisahnya....
Ada empat orang tengah tunggu lif. Sorang tu doktor, sorang lagi tu engineer, yang ketiga tu peguam dan yang last sekali tok penghulu. Tengah-tengah boring dok tunggu lif tuh,
datang le sorang awek cun yang teramat-amatlah seksi. Bila lif sampai semua orang pun naik le.
Dalam masa lif tu nak naik ke atas, tiba-tiba elektrik terputus. Lif tu pun berhentilah dengan tiba-tiba dalam keadaan gelap gelita. Dalam black out tu, mulalah ada salah sorang dari mereka tu gatal pulak nak buat kurang ajar dengan pompuan deksi tu. Puas dia dok meraba pompuan tu dalam gelap! Tiba-tiba, elektrik dah okay balik. Pompuan tu pun tengok kat si engineer, lepas tu kat si doktor, ketiga kat si peguam. Last sekali kat penghulu. Dengan geramnya minah tu bagi si penghulu satu penampar jepun yang teramatlah kuat.
"Heiii,tua-tua bangka pun ada hati nak meraba lagi tu !!!"Jerit si pompuan seksi sambil menunjuk bijik penumbuknya kat muka penghulu tu..
Soalan : Ngapa pompuan tu sure gila penghulu tu yang buat dajal?
Kerana penghulu tu sorang je laki2!!
Pengajarannya, kalau cakap pasal doktor ke, peguam ke, engineer ke mesti orang akan
ingat lelaki je yang pegang jawatan cam tu...Pompuan pun bole maaaa
Email : email dari teman (Shidah)
December 31, 2007
December 28, 2007
Jokes
Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
----------------------------------- ---------
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!
----------------------------------------------
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
------------------------------------------------
Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
-------------------------------------------------
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were
Watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates,
Then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.
--------------------------------------------------
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
--------------------------------------------------
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born
--------------------------------------------------
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
------------------------------------------
Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
--------------------------------------------------
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
--------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."
----------------------------------------------------
A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful'
And 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up.
"Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
"'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is
A sick eagle."
---------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."
----------------------------------------------------
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C' level"
Sumber : email dari teman (Wann)
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
----------------------------------- ---------
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!
----------------------------------------------
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
------------------------------------------------
Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
-------------------------------------------------
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were
Watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates,
Then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.
--------------------------------------------------
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
--------------------------------------------------
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born
--------------------------------------------------
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
------------------------------------------
Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
--------------------------------------------------
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
--------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."
----------------------------------------------------
A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful'
And 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up.
"Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
"'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is
A sick eagle."
---------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."
----------------------------------------------------
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C' level"
Sumber : email dari teman (Wann)
Zack Azura
Azura dan Zack bersahabat sejak dari kecil.. Azura dan Zack saling cinta mencintai..
Setelah Besar... Zack melanjutkan pelajaran ke US dan Azura hanyalah seorang penganggur.. Tetapi mereka terus berhubung surat dan telefon.. hinggalah 2 tahun kemudian... Zack tidak
lagi menghantar sebarang berita...
Azura bersedih dan selalu berdoa agar hati Zack tidak berubah... Setelah lebih 5 tahun... barulah Zack mengirimkankan satu surat dan minta agar Azura menjemputnya di Lapangan Terbang...
Azura sangat gembira dan merasakan Zack masih menyintainya...
Semasa menunggu Zack di lapangan terbang... Tiba-tiba bahu Azura di tepuk seseorang. Dan ternyata orang itu adalah seorang gadis yang putih, tinggi, seksi dan berbaju biru ketat.
"Kamu Azura kan?" tanya gadis Cun itu... lantas menyambung...
"Kenalkan aku Zakiah....! Aku ingin memberitahu bahawa engkau tidak akan bertemu lagi dengan Zack. Lupakanlah dia....." tegas gadis tersebut Azura pucat dan hendak menangis...
"Pompuan tak guna.. dah kau rampas Zack dari aku.. kau sakitkan hati ku lagi..." marah Azura..
Tiba-tiba gadis itu tersenyum dan menepuk bahu Azura dan berkata....
"Bawa bertenang... ini akulah ....Zack!!! Nama baruku Zakiah. Auwwww...."
Sumber : email dari teman (Shida)
Setelah Besar... Zack melanjutkan pelajaran ke US dan Azura hanyalah seorang penganggur.. Tetapi mereka terus berhubung surat dan telefon.. hinggalah 2 tahun kemudian... Zack tidak
lagi menghantar sebarang berita...
Azura bersedih dan selalu berdoa agar hati Zack tidak berubah... Setelah lebih 5 tahun... barulah Zack mengirimkankan satu surat dan minta agar Azura menjemputnya di Lapangan Terbang...
Azura sangat gembira dan merasakan Zack masih menyintainya...
Semasa menunggu Zack di lapangan terbang... Tiba-tiba bahu Azura di tepuk seseorang. Dan ternyata orang itu adalah seorang gadis yang putih, tinggi, seksi dan berbaju biru ketat.
"Kamu Azura kan?" tanya gadis Cun itu... lantas menyambung...
"Kenalkan aku Zakiah....! Aku ingin memberitahu bahawa engkau tidak akan bertemu lagi dengan Zack. Lupakanlah dia....." tegas gadis tersebut Azura pucat dan hendak menangis...
"Pompuan tak guna.. dah kau rampas Zack dari aku.. kau sakitkan hati ku lagi..." marah Azura..
Tiba-tiba gadis itu tersenyum dan menepuk bahu Azura dan berkata....
"Bawa bertenang... ini akulah ....Zack!!! Nama baruku Zakiah. Auwwww...."
Sumber : email dari teman (Shida)
December 27, 2007
Roh abg...
Kisah berlaku hasil cerita seorang kawan yg pernah digangu roh abgnya selepas 3 hari mati. Dia kata abgnya mati sebab kena 'main' org. Aku pun tertimbul idea cakap yg aku rasanya tahu mesti roh abg dia tak aman.maka dia pun bercerita...
As usual kekadang org cina nih suka masok kubur dgn harta diaorg. So, abg dia dgn handset, laptop, PS2 suma sekali ikot masok. Dgn harapan abg dia dpt la mati aman sikit. So, lepas sehari...kemurungan dalam keluarga tuh masih ada. Jadi dgn cara sembahyang je dia org
lupakan kisah tuh. Sampai la ke hari kedua...mereka seolah dihantui roh si mati.
Kawan aku cakap dia rasa setiap kali mcm ada sesuatu je yg panggil dia. Tapi dia buat dek pasal takut. Sampai la mlm kedua tuh...dia dgr ada org ketuk tingkap dia. Dia takut sangat, terus sambung tidur sambil menekup muka dgn bantal dan anggap semua tuh mimpi karut jer.
Sampai ke hari ketiga...satu keluarga mmg rasa seolah olah diperhatikan ke mana sahaja mereka berjalan dlm rumah. Dlm hari tu la kedengaran bunyi org selongkar almari...tapak kaki naik turun tangga...suara memanggil dari tingkat atas. Tapi semua buat dek jer..doakan
benda tu berlalu pergi. Sampai le tetiba handset si kawan aku berbunyi...dia angkat terus dan
tetiba...
"Alo..adik yer?" Dia terkejut...dia tgk nombor tuh...mmg sah nombor abg dia. Maka dia pun jawab balik "Abg ke?" dan serta merta air mata mengalir sebab dia rindu sangat dgn abg dia.
Abg dia pun reply balik "Adik...abg tak boleh lama nih. Abg cuba panggil adik tiap malam..tapi adik tak dgr" Kawan aku menangis je dgr keluhan abg dia...
"Adik, abg nak adik tanya dekat mak" kata abgnya. "Apa dia bang?"Kata kawanku.
"Tanya mak...mana dia simpan charger hp abg? letih carik tak jumpa plak~"
Sumber : email dari teman (Shidah)
As usual kekadang org cina nih suka masok kubur dgn harta diaorg. So, abg dia dgn handset, laptop, PS2 suma sekali ikot masok. Dgn harapan abg dia dpt la mati aman sikit. So, lepas sehari...kemurungan dalam keluarga tuh masih ada. Jadi dgn cara sembahyang je dia org
lupakan kisah tuh. Sampai la ke hari kedua...mereka seolah dihantui roh si mati.
Kawan aku cakap dia rasa setiap kali mcm ada sesuatu je yg panggil dia. Tapi dia buat dek pasal takut. Sampai la mlm kedua tuh...dia dgr ada org ketuk tingkap dia. Dia takut sangat, terus sambung tidur sambil menekup muka dgn bantal dan anggap semua tuh mimpi karut jer.
Sampai ke hari ketiga...satu keluarga mmg rasa seolah olah diperhatikan ke mana sahaja mereka berjalan dlm rumah. Dlm hari tu la kedengaran bunyi org selongkar almari...tapak kaki naik turun tangga...suara memanggil dari tingkat atas. Tapi semua buat dek jer..doakan
benda tu berlalu pergi. Sampai le tetiba handset si kawan aku berbunyi...dia angkat terus dan
tetiba...
"Alo..adik yer?" Dia terkejut...dia tgk nombor tuh...mmg sah nombor abg dia. Maka dia pun jawab balik "Abg ke?" dan serta merta air mata mengalir sebab dia rindu sangat dgn abg dia.
Abg dia pun reply balik "Adik...abg tak boleh lama nih. Abg cuba panggil adik tiap malam..tapi adik tak dgr" Kawan aku menangis je dgr keluhan abg dia...
"Adik, abg nak adik tanya dekat mak" kata abgnya. "Apa dia bang?"Kata kawanku.
"Tanya mak...mana dia simpan charger hp abg? letih carik tak jumpa plak~"
Sumber : email dari teman (Shidah)
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