Kawan atok

Seorang atok membawa cucunya ke pejabat pos untuk menghantar surat.
Cucunya bertanya bila melihat atoknya memasukkan surat ke dalam tong
berwarna merah.
"Atok buat apa tu?".
"Atok bagi surat kat kawan atok,cu!" jawap atoknya.
Cucunya bertanya lagi, "Apa bangang sangat kawan atok
duduk dalam tong merah tu?"

The Lawyer

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along too close to the car and completely tore off the driver's door.

Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus, his lights flashing. But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer

The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"

"OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer. "MY ROLEX!!!"

First Impresstion is important... but..

Abdul Razak grew up in Kota Baru, a town located on the East Coast of Malaysia, and then moved away to KL to do his law degree. He decided to return to Kota Baru because he could be a big man and really wanted to impress everyone. So he returned and opened his new law office.

The first day he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Abdul picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking.

"No. Absolutely no. You tell those clowns in Kuala Lumpur that I won't settle this case for less than one million ringgit. Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to argue that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support! Okay. Tell the State Prosecutor that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details." This sort of thing went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Abdul rattled
instructions.

Finally, Abdul put down the phone and turned to the man. "I'm sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"

The man replied , "I'm from Telekom, I've come to connect your line."

Senyummmm...

Seorang pegawai polis masuk ke bilik mayat sebuah hospital untuk
menyiasat punca kematian tiga lelaki sekaligus.
Selepas memeriksa mayat-mayat itu, dia bertanya kepada penjaga bilik
berkenaan.
Polis : Mengapa ketiga-tiga mayat tersenyum?
Penjaga : Lelaki pertama sedang bersanding, apabila tiba2 diserang strok.
Lelaki kedua pula khabarnya menang loteri dan mati serangan sakit jantung
manakala yg ketiga
disambar petir.
Polis : Hah! Kenapa disambar petir pun tersenyum?
Penjaga : Masa tu dia ingat orang sedang ambil gambarnya...

Cermin mata

Seorang lelaki pergi ke klinik mata. Setelah matanya diperiksa, dia bertanya: "Doktor, lepas pakai cermin mata nanti, boleh ke saya membaca macam orang lain?"
"Dah tentu, " jawab doktor.
"Oh, gembiranya. Dah lama saya buta huruf, akhirnya boleh juga saya membaca." kata lelaki itu dengan riang.

Habis...?

Orang Asli Dan Polis
orang asli : selamat pagi tuan
polis : selamat pagi
polis : apa hal
orang asli : saya nak buat repot tuan
polis : fasal apa tu
orang asli : kawan saya di baham harimau
polis : pukul berapa
orang asli : dia tak pukul, terkam
polis : habis?
orang asli : tak habis, tinggal kepala

Posmen

Seorang posmen yang datang menghantar surat.
"Assalamualaikum."
"Walaikumsalam"
"Ni rumah encik Sameon ye?"
"Ya saya"
"Poning kepala saya mencari alamat rumah encik ni "
"Buat susah aje encik nie! Apsal tak pos aje?"