Keistimewaan Wanita

1-berdarah tiap2 bulan tapi tak mati2
2-hidang susu fresh tanpa pergi kekedai
3-mengeraskan hotdog tanpa peti sejuk
4-ditikam bertubi2 tapi tak mati2

Katak Hijau

Pada suatu ari kita pegi ke sebuah gua.
Penjaga gua tu kate, dlm gua tu ada katak ijau.
Jgn pijak katak tu sbb klu pijak, dpt su ami tak hensem.
Dlm gua tu saya je terpijak katak ijau, tapi awak tak.

Pastu, tiba masa kita kawin. Suami saya mmg tak hensem.
Tapi suami awak hensem. Saya tak puas ati la!
So saya tanya suami awak kenapa kawin ngan awak? Saya lg cantik
malah berganda cantik dr awak. Pastu dia jwb "nak wat caner,
dulu saya pun terpijak katak ijau tuu..."

Condom vs Kotex

Condom: Bullshit u! every month u stop my business for 1 week! Damn!

Kotex: Aaaaahhhhh!! if u make 1 single mistake, i'll lose my business for 9 months!

Kentut

org Amerika kentut ckp EXCUSE ME
org British kentut ckp PARDON ME
org Singapore kentut ckp FORGIVE ME
org kita kentut ckp NOT ME! NOT ME!

Putar Alam

Boss berkata kepada Secretary : Kita akan outstation selama seminggu, jadi aturkan segalanya.

Secretary menelefon Suaminya : Untuk seminggu boss saya dan saya akan
outstation, awak pandai2 jaga diri nanti...

Suami menelefon Buah Hatinya : Isteri saya akan outstation selama seminggu, jadi mari kita habiskan masa bersama-sama. ...

Buah Hati menelefon Murid tuisyennya : Saya kene bekerja selama seminggu, jadi awak tak perlu datang untuk tuisyen...

Murid tuisyen tersebut menelefon Atuknya : Atuk, untuk seminggu saya takde kelas sebab cikgu saya sibuk. Mari kita habiskan masa bersama...

Atuk (the 1st boss) menelefon Secretary : Minggu ni saya nak abiskan masa bersama cucu saya.. Batalkan outstation tuh...

Secretary menelefon Suaminya : Minggu ni boss saya ade kerja, kami dah
membatalkan outstation tu...

Suami menelefon Buah Hatinya : Kita tak dapat nak habiskan masa bersama untuk minggu ni, isteri saya dah membatalkan outstationnya. .

Buah Hati menelefon Murid Tuisyennya : Minggu ni kelas tuisyen mcm biase.

Murid Tuisyen menelefon Atuknya : Atuk, cikgu saya cakap minggu ni saya kene pergi kelas tuisyen. Sori, saya tak bleh temankan atuk.

Atuk menelefon Secretary : Jangan risau, minggu ni kita outstation. Jadi uruskan semuanya..

Woakakaka... . .penat aku nak tulih lagi nie....

Happiest Hour

During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband,
"Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?"

The hubby replied : "Yes, honey, that was indeed the happiest hour of my married life."

Break off

Tijah ingin memutuskan perhubungan dengan boyfriend MAT SALLEHnya....
Dia tak sanggup bertemu muka, Lalu dia pun mengutus surat... surat tu macam ni bunyinya:

Hi,
My motive write this letter is to give know you something. I WANT TO CUT CONNECTION US. I have think about this very cook cook.

I know i clap one hand only. Correctly, i have seen you and she together at town with eyes myself. You always ask for apology back back. I don't trust you
again!!! You are really crocodile land.

My friend speak you play wood three. Now i know you correct correct play wood three. so,i break connection to pull my body from this love triangle.

I know this result i pick is very correct, because you love she very high from me. So, i break off to go far from here. I don't want you to play play with my liver. I have been crying until no more eye water thinking about you.I don't want banana to fruit two times ....

Safe walk .......

Tijah