Customer vs Helpdesk

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, nothing happens, it must be really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...it's still on my desk... sorry.
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Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Is that your left or my left?
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Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and.....
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it !
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Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the
monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red ...
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
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Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that one does work!
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Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a Capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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A customer couldn't get on the Internet: -
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I watched my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem.
A friend has placed screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !
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Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech Support, may I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you.
Can You please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago.
Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
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Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter " a ", but how do I get the circle around it?